One of my favorite people went through something unimaginable. So unimaginable that it never crossed my mind (and I am an overthinker and analyzer) as something that could happen to someone that I love. She and my cousin lost a baby at just 4 days old. Something like this changes you, FOREVER.

I want to share a few things I’ve learned from her & God along the way. First of all, grief never leaves you. You cannot rush it, there is no timeline. Words didn’t suffice then and sometimes they still don’t now. My cousin’s wife let herself feel every emotion without numbing the pain or pretending like it wasn’t there. She let herself be mad at God. My family questioned his goodness. This is part of the process.

I started to understand that certain situations or things that happen we won’t 100% heal from this side of Heaven. Like yes, I believe God still does miracles, but some things impact our soul and spirit on such a deep level that you will never be the same. You also have to accept that you may never understand or know why this happened. God is infinite and we have finite minds. This is so difficult and takes trust. Trusting God is a daily choice – we have to keep choosing to trust everyday. Some days are easier than others. This is part of the process.

But there is hope in devastation. I believe if you let God use the pain there can be redemption and a way of living/believing that didn’t exist before. I’ve seen it firsthand through my family & felt the redemption when I held their second child. God still does miracles.